I cry trickery!

Has anyone seen the new Dove commercial yet? The one intended to give women everywhere severe NIGHTMARES? It shows, under a special light, that "regular" soap leaves a web of soap scum all over your body. Dove, on the other hand, leaves you the fuck alone apparently.



Isn't this a new ball of crazy? I'm going out right now and buying this product...if only to rub it all over my walls. I'm sure my walls will be nice and clean and not full of soap scum. Right.

I did some online research and discovered that Dove noted they have taken "artistic liberties" with the images. How many other people are going to walk around thinking their bodies are covered in a flaky web of gross soap scum? Please, Dove, remove thy ad! Your artistic liberties gross me out... and, besides, the local news teams do enough to fake-scare the beejeezus out of the public already.



( & "funny" feminist article here)

4 x 4 blog to your brain

1. Our house loan was FINALLY approved. At least over the phone. We still haven't gotten any official-lookin-documents in the mail. Yargh. Closing should be 11/28. We should be finding some sweet deal on a new computer for me early morning, closing on the house late morning, and jetting up north in the afternoon. That is, if N hasn't gotten a deer dead yet. Sorry for the hunting reference.... It's WI, and it happens. (The worst is driving along the highways and seeing animals hanging off the back of vehicles these next couple of weekends.)

2. It was the unofficial anniversary with the N last week. Yessirree, 6 years since the day we met and never parted. (Yeah, we're "one of those" couples that become inseperable from day 1). It's also been 3 years since the day I was proposed to on the top of Lebanon at a waterfall. A waterfall where, mythologically speaking, Aphrodite and Adonis shared their first kiss and "love began." Looking back, I would have wanted to shout YESSSS to the entire country and to the heavens above....instead I cried/mumbled/gasped out a meager 'yes'. So, anyway, I tend to get a little moopsy schmoopsy around this day every year. The man will never officially admit he gets a little moopsy romantical around this time of the year, but I think I could attest to some extra sparkles of romance.

3. "Sfoofie, if you were born to Sarah Palin, your name would be: Krinkle Bearcat Palin"

*giggles*

aaaand I giggled extra because the certain current job I'm in allows me to see what parents are naming their childrens lately. Let's just say I noticed that some parent had named their kids the following*:
(* names have been altered because I don't want to lose my job!)
- Pepper
- Paprika
- Chandmuth
- Cayenne
....aaaand Katie. Now, I'm not sure how I would feel if I were "Katie" in this scenario. Thankful? Or left out?

4. Oh, peoples, let me tell you a thing about "job satisfaction." I HAS IT!! I finally has it!!! ohboyohboyohboy, tis a great thing.

Peace out fwiendz.

Hot Topics

On Twitter.com right now, one can see people live twitter about the election. The current "hot topics" they have listed are:

Hey Sarah Palin, ACORN, Tina Fey, Bush, Christopher Hitchens, Arab, CNN

This amuses me.

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

I didn't get around to posting a tune yesterday - pesky "applying for jobs" thing got in the way. It means today I can hook you up with an amazingly fun little thing called "Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog."

From Wikipedia:

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is a 43-minute musical film produced exclusively for Internet distribution. It tells the story of Dr. Horrible, the aspiring supervillain alter ego of Billy; Captain Hammer, his nemesis; and Penny, their mutual love interest. The movie was written by writer/director Joss Whedon, his brothers Zack Whedon (a television writer) and Jed Whedon (a composer), and Jed's fiancée, actress Maurissa Tancharoen. The writing team penned the musical during the WGA writers' strike. The idea was to create something small and inexpensive, yet professionally done, in a way that would circumvent the issues that were being protested during the strike.

Neil Patrick Harris is awesome in it and it just the perfect little quirky thing to entertain and delight you all. For 43 minutes anyway. You can see it here, but I'm going to post the fun song "Laundry Day" below for a little sample.




Have a quirky, fun, amazing, and awesome weekend everyone!

Also...before I forget...

LADIES AND GENTLEMENNERS.....I PRESENT.....


JESUS ON WHEELS!!! (*WILD APPLAUSE* *CROWD GOES WILD*)

Things that amuse/interest me here

* Hawa Chicken shops (I say it like a ninja...HAWA!)
* The people who have lived here a long time but don't really know Arabic. They can get away with only speaking French and this amazes me
* The signs / tv or movie captions / instructions all in three languages
* My poor poor butchered French pronunciations
* Huge Jesus on wheels (he moves around a certain street we drive through...it's like "FIND THE JESUS!")
* The freedoms here that I can't decide if they are good or bad (eg: drinking alcohol in cars)
* The traditions (eg: there is a specific kind of rice pudding you serve to all the visiting guests after you have a baby)
* Lizards in the garden
* My "quest" to try all different kinds of man2ousheh to see if the man2ousheh here in Brummana is really the best in all the land
* The old old old buildings that are so pretty in their ancient-ness
* The religious shrines that dot the sides of the roads
* The veiled women walking with their skimpy dressed friends
* The staring....everyone stares at everyone else in cars. (Not just because I'm the blondie.)
* The millions of flower boxes put up along fences in the villages
* The kindness of a total stranger to take off her bracelet and give it to me after I only commented that it was pretty. (this kindness is very common in the older generations, but you don't apparently find it in the younger generations. the girl, Issan, who gave me the bracelet will always be remembered when I put on the bracelet!)
* When going to the movies you sign up where you will be sitting in the theater
* The ability to find a full dinner for $2
* Paying for things in US dollars
* Planning out our perfect beach day for tomorrow
* How cheap it is to get a manicure, pedicure, and eyebrows done ($30 dollars and they do such a good job!!)
* Sitting at a restaurant by the sea with the breezes hitting my face
* Picking out the girls who had nose jobs
* Learning tons of Arabic in only the week I've been here
* Truly amused by the fact that so many things simply don't have a system here (especially traffic. and the fact that I didn't even need a visa when I entered at the airport. we decided it was probably because it was 430am and the guy didn't feel like filling it out!)
* All the flags flying around here due to the soccer Eurocup that is happening. People take soccer here very seriously! (go Germany!)
* Burger King and almost every place delivers here. Oh, and you can tell the guy to pick up something from the store along the way...
* Around every corner is an amazing view

I'm sure I'll keep thinking of more.

For laughs...

* There is a great post over at dooce.com which is actually a guest post by 1/2 of sweet juniper. I dont have any kids, but the parenting duo that writes for sweet juniper have some amazing posts that any one can enjoy.

* Along the lines of lolcats is another new favorite "awww" website: Cute Overload.
A favorite from there:

* As always, making fun of celebrities can be soooo incredibly funny. Go Fug Yourself. Included in a recent post was a line I would like to steal: "But if you think that's as wack as it gets, just wait, because at the film's premiere she crashed the Wackmobile straight into Lake Crackpot."

* All along, VH1's Best Week Ever have been blogging hilarious things about Top Chef. How did I miss this? The finale recap was great. And this gem about Lisa was priceless.

* Continuing my French music addiction.... (and it will make you go "awww")



There, that should keep you entertained for at least a little bit. I'll be back in a month to continue this partay....

Blogworld

If you are looking for some new random blogs, The Best of Blogs has announced their winners here

I've found some other random blogs when they had started the nominations process, so I'm excited to find some more out of these winners.

Happy blog-hunting all!

ooh! shiny!

Clearly I become amused by creepy random crap the internet produces:



If you don't like it, go put a bunana in your ear.

14 TONS!

14 tons of spilled Oreo cookies snarl Ill. traffic

MORRIS, Ill. - Police say a trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos has overturned, spilling the cookies still in their plastic sleeves into the median and roadway.

Illinois State Police Sgt. Brian Mahoney says the truck's driver was traveling from Chicago to Morris on Interstate 80 around 4 a.m. Monday when he fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the median.

"The boxes came out of the trailer and boxes were ripped open," he said.

The crash about 50 miles southwest of Chicago remains under investigation.

Mahoney says no charges have been filed but both lanes of traffic remain closed while authorities remove the cookies.

_______________________________________________________

Choose your reaction:

A) OMG! WTF! OREO COOKIES SNARL?!?!
B) Good to see IL roadways held up by deliciousness for a change
C) Can I be an "authority" for the day?
D) mmmmmmm double-stuff
E) Who lets a sleepy driver loose at 4am with 14 tons of Oreos?
F) Yeah, the boxes mysteriously "ripped" open. $10 says this Brian Mahoney loves him some cookies. (with the added: No charges filed?)
G) I wanna picture of 14 tons of Oreo cookies
H... Create your own reaction, leave it in the commments

And then he said...

Me wondering what day the bread is delivered at the middle eastern grocery place: "Honey, it's Arabs... there's no system!"

"It'll be fine, I have a self cleaning coat."

"Shoot, we forgot the groceries downstairs."
*pause*
"If you go get them I'll promise to give you five kisses. Please? I mean like five REAL AFFECTIONATE kisses."

"Close the drapes and come to the snuggle station."

"If I killed that goose would you cook it for me?"

"20 things of rigident no longer becomes a gift"

awww fluffy fingers

Michael Scott: Ok, so dig this. You're on the street, and one of your gang disses you.
Darryl: Oh my goodness.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Right. So what do you do to get 'em to make it right?
Darryl: Well see, um, in a gang world, we use something called fluffy fingers.
Michael Scott: What is that?
Darryl: That's when someone really gets in your face, you know you just, start ticklin' 'em.
Michael Scott: [pause] Really?
Darryl: Yeah. And he starts tickling you. And pretty soon you laughing and hugging. Before you know it, you've forgotten the whole thing. Y'all just go to church together, and get an ice cream cone.
Michael Scott: I would have never though that.. gangs would be tickling each other.
Darryl: Oh. It's a fact of life.

Random Observations Wednesday

- Travel size conditioners come with flip top caps that require little effort. Travel size shampoos come with screw off caps that require great effort. I can see myself in a tres chic French hotel uttering bleeps cuz I dropped the shampoo cap. Then, ow, shampoo gets in my eyes. Bleepity bleep. I really wonder why travel shampoos can't have flip caps like travel conditioners. They could distinguish the packaging between the two and keep the ease/comfort. What a bleepin great idea!

- Is it wrong that I wish guitar hero had more outfits and rockers to buy? Sometimes I'd much rather shop than rock.....

- Today I read two books from my childhood that I hadn't read in years and I understood the context of them a lot more:

One is called "The Road From Home" and it is a fictional account of Armenian massacres and marching them to their deaths in Turkey. Pretty heady stuff for me to read as a kid, but I loved the book. I liked it a lot more today when I could grasp the reality of the plight.

The second book is called "Death Be Not Proud." This was my favorite book as a kid..as evidenced by the almost-falling-apart copy I have (with the "Happy Birthday Stacy! Love, Jessica" inscription. I wonder what b-day I got this for and, no, I don't even talk to Jessica anymore!) The book is the father's account of the son getting a brain tumor and the eventual death. As a kid I would read the book at least once a year and really reflect on things I have to be thankful for. It is so well written and shows that even a kid dying can be a great hero.

I really liked books about kids and thought-provoking topics. (haha... the beginnings of my becoming a "book/literature elitist" ??) Part of my realization in college that International Studies fit me was thinking back on all the books I had devoured and how much I wanted to know all about world topics. These books have helped shape a lot of who I am and it was really interesting to read these two books today.

- I did something to my upper back/neck and they really hurt today. I must go over all my arm excercies and make sure I am doing them correctly. cuz, ow. bleep.

- I am getting really annoyed calling customer service lines lately and having them not wait for me to talk before they jabber off something I already know. Please wait for me to get out my whole problem. AND, if you hadn't jabbered off, we could have ended our call 6 whole minutes ago and you could have been 5 minutes further into your dissection with your cubicle buddy of your current nail polish and if it really is the right color for you.

- I cannot play an online game called "text twist" past 3pm in the day. If I do, I can't fall asleep because all I see in my brain are words rearranging to form other words. Drives me absolutely batty.
(drives: dire, rid, rids, red, reds, rev, revs, side, sider, ride, rides, ire, ires, die, dies, vie, vies, vied, sir, dive, dives, dries, etc.... BATTY)

- Is there a wrong side of a bed? because SOMEONE in this two person household sure woke up on THAT side today and it wasn't ME! oh, bleep.

- I think there is a goat chewing up clothes in this apartment. I did "all" our laundry today and cannot locate certain items. That or someone likes to "hide" dirty clothes away from a hamper. I guess tomorrow is a bleepin scavenger hunt. I hope I don't find the angry goat.

- Bud light came out with a lime beer. I still won't drink it. Bud is bleepin nasteee. I'll stick with my Miller Chill.

- go listen to the song "Cast Away The Clouds" by Rose Melberg. I *heart* it.

- I want Mario Cart for the Wii .... want want want. OMG. want.

- 46 days until vay-cay

It's Tuesday already. (Time to talk about Monday behind its back.....)

Monday, April 28th, 2008. I know my day was very uneventful here, but, hooo-eeee did it surprise my dear family (and most of northern Wisconsin).

This is what they woke up to:

My poor husband didn't even believe my mom's email! (Until I pointed out in another picture the "SPRING" flag my mum has hanging outside the house. covered in snow.)

Isn't it pretty? All the trees outlined in white and so crisp and clea....Wait, isn't it just caps-lock CRAZY?!?!?! It is 3 days before May! I literally sun-burned my face fishing the day before. We all know Wisconsin sometimes gets these April snow showers, but I've never seen one that is a certifiable STORM with snow sticking to the ground in certifiable inches.

It didn't snow or rain here at all yesterday...If it had I would have channeled my little sister's dramatics, grabbed my hair dryer, melted the snow right off our porch, and spend the next 6 years in denial.

So on to weekend recappage and other odds n ends.

Bubs and I spent the weekend in po-dunk hometown at my parent's house. I had one task in mind: fishing. The bubs had two tasks in mind: shooting pesky varmins and fishing. Wisconsin has turned the bubs into quite an outdoorsman. Me? I just really like fishing.

Saturday was really horrible weather. Super windy and cold. Decided to take the more comfortable car even though it is twice as costly. If we had taken the "Less Comfort, 1/2 Off Gas!" Saturn, we would have spent the whole drive yelling to each other and not being able to make phone calls to the in-laws. I do have to lament that gas is making trips costly. I know almost everyone is having the same lament as me, but it really does suck...I never really gave going home a second thought like I do now.

So we get to Clintonville and first have to get our fishing license. Actually, I got the fishing license and the bubs got a "sportsman" license. The man has developed a need to hunt/fish multiple things in this fine state. The funny thing about going to Fleet Farm in Clintonville is that I still know most of the people working there. You see, I used to work there in high school. Which is now almost 10 years ago that I worked there. Are you putting this together? People work at that Fleet Farm forrrrrrrrever.

Next we have to go pick up the bub's deer sausage from an even littler po-dunkier place called Pella. Great. We become the proud owners of 10 two-foot long venison garlic summer sausage sticks. The summer sausage is delicious, but I have no idea how to incorporate summer sausage into any recipes. I know it makes a mean sammich....hmmm... Any suggestions? It would also make a mean weapon... you try to mess with me and you might get a mean sausage slam to the head!

Next we have to go pick up the ever adorable Jonahbebe. I decided to kidnap him and had glorious visions of fishing with the little bugger. Too bad the wind up and blew the little tike away. The End.

....errr...I mean I just had to come up with indoor activities for the day. (but the wind was REALLY strong. I had to hold on to Jonah tight to wrestle him into the car) We decided to go see the sturgeon on the Wolf river. Usually they would be right on the Embarrass river next to our house, but this year is just wacky and they won't be on the Embarrass for another week or so. Seeing the sturgeon is a very cool experience. For one, they are HUGE and CREEPY. Another is that they are always close to the shore rocks. The males are trying to push the females up on the rocks so the females will deposit their zillions of eggs. A gross, but fascinating, time. It was really windy, but we did get to see them:



Jonah yells "SHARKS!!!!!!!!" ...then later backtracked and proclaimed them "a wittle wike sharks." If you are ever on the Embarrass or Wolf river in April, be sure to check at places for the sturgeon.

Saturday we spent the rest of the day indoors. The final highlight was my sister n law bringing Caleb peanut when she came to pick up Jonah. He's smiling now (at 2 months old!) and the crazy hair is still crazy adorable:

(I'll wait for your collective "awwww")

Sunday we started out with church. The parish administrator lady talked about her experience at Yankee stadium seeing the Pope's mass. She described it in great detail and talked about how it was "just like heaven." We promptly decided that a bagillion screaming people at Yankee stadium was not our idea of heaven. Just because they were holding doves, had practiced coordinated movements for a few months, and had jazz hands just wouldn't cut it for me. Pretty bitchin? Probably. (I would like to see the Pope) We sang "Shall We Gather At The River" and my inside-brain was going, "Yes, Lord, to go fishing!" My inside-brain is mischevious like that.
(OH BETH, sidenote: last time I was at church in C-ville we sang the "Alien Band" song and I had to stifle my inside-brain laughs. It was very difficult.)

We then got home and wasted no time getting fishing stuff ready. We decided to fish the Embarrass river. BOOM, Zach gets a HUGE sucker fish right off the bat (haha, ok, not that big but just as ugly). Then, nothing. A lot of fishing is nothing-ness, but the anticipation is the exciting part. I just think it wasn't a good time for fishing suckers yet as they tend to be right with the sturgeon and the sturgeon weren't even there yet. It's just too bad because we were fishing suckers last year in March.

The weekend concluded with a trip to Culvers. I got chicken tenders and ate them with honey. Am I the only one who likes chicken with honey?

The bubs was happy he got to shoot varmins (and I think a certain hawk was kept happy too as the "graveyard" was robbed several times throughout the weekend from its inhabitants...) and I was happy I got to see my family and see at least one fish get caught.

Oh, if you are keeping track:
- Friday I melted, had to have all windows open, contemplated busting out fans, and had clown hair from the heat and humidity
- Saturday I froze. Snuggled up in blankets, contemplated turning the heat back on, dressed in layers, almost blew over from the wind, and had no hairstyle (kept it under a kerchief from the wind)
- Sunday I was in-between everything. Cold in the morning, warmed up to mid 50s, sunburned my face, and overall had a fabulous hair day.
- Monday was a snowstorm for my parents and cold here. The bubs caved and turned the heat back on. I hate you Monday.

Wisconsin rulez. lol.

W to the EEKend

Friday

Friday I managed to secure a very plain black and grey tote bag for my travels this summer and for other occasions where totage is needed. It has all the components I was looking for: not too bulky, outside pocket, fits over my shoulder, and also has a smaller inside pocket. This find set me back.... (drum roll)....$7.84. I think I'm going to sew on a cool patch (because it is really plain) or just attach my FABULOUS hello kitty luggage tag to the bag instead. (omg omg omg having a hello kitty freak out moment. it happens.)

Friday evening entailed a comedy show at Milwaukee's comedy cafe. That was fun because I had never been there. Their whole schtick is to have really really cheap tickets, but force everyone to have a 2 drink minimum PER PERSON. They do have nice drinks, but, dang! Get everyone liquored up and they'll laugh. Well, I guess the shows were funny. The final comic of the evening managed to throw in local references and use audience members outbursts into his skit. I like it when comedians do this. Although, when a guy yelled out that Hilary couldn't get elected because it was "mathematically impossible", the comedian didn't have a hard time working "mathematically impossible" into his routine at various points. hilarious.

Saturday

Saturday the bubs had to work almost all day. This day at work put him in a FOUL mood. I nervously paced the apartment trying to think of ways to summon charm, happiness, rainbows, and smiles for when bubs was done with work. Luckily, I convinced him to head to an Indian restaurant when he was done with work (late afternoon). I don't have much to say about our experience there. We couldn't really decide if we liked it or not. The prices were right, the lamb curry was delicious, but there were some off points. How can naan be screwed up?!?


Sunday (today)

Today was SUNNNNNNNNNN GLORIOUS SUNSHINE AND SUN AND SUNSHINEYNESS AND SUN AND MORE SUN AND GLORIOUSNESS OF THE SUN AND SHINING AND BEAMS AND RAYS OF SUNSHINE AND PURE UNFILTERED SUUUUUUUN. ahem. pretty much amazing. 65 degrees and glorious amazing. God done shined up our day. I fell in love with the outside today.

This morning went for a nice long walk capped by breakfast. During breakfast we decided on THE PROJECT FOR THE DAY.....

...The project was fixing up "the bikes." I put "the bikes" in quotations like that because I have had a love-hate relationship with these two bikes. One day, the bubs decided to buy two bikes at a rummage sale out of the blue. wtf said me. I think he paid too much for them, but still cheaper than two new bikes from any store. I'm thinking we're ahead on this deal. Then, I actually see the bikes. Ugh. I thought we flushed those dollas down the toilet fo shure. The bubs was convinced otherwise. I try to put the bikes out of my head.

Then a horrid tragic thing called WISCONSIN WINTER 2007-2008 happened and the bikes were caged up. I was also still not convinced that they were legit riding machines (ok, weird, I almost typed "edible" here instead of legit).

Today we managed to resurrect both bikes and they are actually usable (NOT edible). hooray!

So that's about all. I can't emphasize enough how really cool sunshine is after the winter we just had. I hope it can stick around for at least tomorrow.

Have a great week everyone!

__________

ps: Oh, almost forgot something called "The best part about this weekend."

A certain bubs sorely realizes he cannot jump bikes up curbs anymore. "Well, I used to do it all the time!" Um, sorry, you're not 12 anymore m'luv.
/still laughing

Top Chefs need Miller Chill

So Top Chef has been on for a few episodes and I thought it was time to weigh in a bit on this show so far. Plus I can talk about Miller Chill per Iwanski request.

Top Chef opened last night replaying all the ridiculous fights from last week

Spike vs Antonia: Spike was mad that they didn't go with soup (and the judges say they would have loved that) and lashed out a bit at ms. immunity. This fight doesn't really bother me nearly as much as Spike's ridiculous hats. Spike was just venting a bit. I'm over it.

Jen vs Spike: Ridiculous fight. As ridiculous as Spike's hats. Jen really thought Spike should have been sent home rather than her girlfriend Zoi. However, I'm really taking Spike's side on this. Did Jen taste the infamous mushrooms? Plus the pasta salad and some other of Zoi's blah creations are really what sent her home. Spike even mentioned to Zoi to season the mushrooms and Zoi thought they were "delicious." If an entire room of people and judges think that the concept of the dish was bad (Antonia's fault) and then have a really bad component to it (Zoi's fault) then Spike should be safe. Jen did not need to chime in and kick a chair etc. Carrying on and foolishness!

Dale vs Lisa: Where did this fight come from? Like, out of nowhere all of a sudden the winning team members start yelling at each other. I think Dale was pretty bitter that he didnt' win. Lisa can apparently cook some mean bacon with syrup? I'm going to hold judgement on this to a bit further on....

/end replaying of last week's fights

The scene opens on a glorious Chicago day with Ryan (my least fave) doing.. yoga? in pj pants? Probably trying to stay out of the fights and the crying and the bitching and the foolishness. Probably Ryan (my least fave) is still trying to meditate on what chicken Piccata is. That really still bothers me. I even know what piccata is!

Jen is still crying over how talented and lovely Zoi is. Sistah please. Now she's all "I'm going to win this for US." Fine. It was bound to happen that one of them would be sent home before the other. Didn't they prepare for this? Oh, and I'm not saying there are other people there that should have been eliminated before Zoi, but Zoi apparently can't SEASON UNDER PRESSURE. I'm still taking Spike's side despite ridiculous hats.

Then we have an interesting interlude between Dale and Lisa again. Dale apologizes for his manner of blowing up at Lisa, but still lets her know that she is a big debbie downer and is bringing everyone down with her constant bitching. Well, now I can have my take on this because Dale apologized. If Dale hadn't apologized, I probably would have taken Lisa's side. Dale let the jealousy get the best of him and that is just not cool. Now I'm on Dale's side because Lisa IS a force of somethin awful. I'm not quite sure if it is negativity per se. But she SWEARS and BITCHES. a. lot. While cooking, while walking, while talking, while getting apologized to. A big fierce pit of swearage is always under the surface with her. Just a tad disturbing. I knew this season would be interesting because of all the potty mouths running around. They all seem so uptight and all up on their fences defending EVERYTHING. "Dale can go F' himself." Nice, Lisa, nice.

Over to the quickfire challenge.

BEER!

I like seeing all the reactions of the chefs.
* Surprised by Dale's gusto over beer.
* Spike doesn't drink but wears ridiculous hats. I swear at the block party he was downing beers and he totally seems like a beer guy.
* Richard is a good little chef who listens to what Padma is asking them to do: something simple that matches with the beer. I like this about Richard.

I'm not sure how to take simplicity on this show. Most of the time when chefs go "simple" they just dumb down the food...or make really complicated things and try to pass them off as simple. I take "simple" as a few ingredients that most of the average population could relate to and want to eat.

I think out of the quick fire I would want to try the clams (can't remember which chicky made them) because they go well with beer. I would also try Richard's dish (which I can't remember what it was other than simple ingredients on bread...tuna I think?). Most ridiculous was Ryan's creation.... wtf is an Espelette??!? He rhymed it with his lamb crepinette so maybe rhyming was his idea of keeping it simple?

Also, the quickfire was awkward when the guest judge picked Jen's creation. It seemed almost that the judge was hitting on Jen in Zoi's absence. Maybe that's just my eerie feeling about it all. Beignets with some purees don't sound like something I'd want to wash down with a beer. Jen feels vindicated in Zoi's absence. whatevs.

Now I'm just going to do some quick notes

Prep Day
* Hi Whole Foods!
* Richard admits he's a wiseass! Richard is growing on me...
* Mark throws in "Shrimp on the bahrbie" and it made me giggle. I'm lame like that.
* Ryan is weird. He's all "Californian" and would rather have clothes over sports. Fine. But it seems he would rather have nice clothes and chicks over being a chef. I'm just really getting that impression. Why would you want to metrosexualize a tailgating event? All the warning signs are flaring up in my brain. Why doesn't Ryan use his metrosexual skillz and tell Spike to stop wearing ridiculous hats?
* OOOOOH Spike can prep like a maniac! ooooh. He can even multitask: wear a ridiculous hat, stick his tongue out, AND prep food! ooooh.
* Richard makes another wiseass comment and I'm lauging. Richard is charming me over...
* Didn't people learn from the block party event? I can't remember which girl was going on and on about making food for "fat men with beer." That's a warning light going off in my head again...

Back at the house
* Richard reminds us that wiseasses need to unwind and relax.
* Mark and Spike in the bathtub (NOT a hot tub) was a weird scene. Antonia's joke about it being a "cheap porno" wound up in all this week's promos, but, seriously, it WAS like a cheap porno. Two men in a bathtub talking about how they are comfortable with their sexuality. NO one would join them because ** no reminders needed ** it's JUST A BATH TUB. That New Zealand Mark is just a bit off this week in my mind.

Day of tailgating (yummmm)
* Colicchio looks like he's metrosexualizing things up with his fancy scarf and cap. Why couldn't he just wear the jersey and a normal cap?
* Ryan turns into full of shit schmoozer guy. He's totally channeling Brian from Season 3. Everybody hated Brian. Don't be a Brian. Warning lights going off in my head again
* Andrew, please. Andrew is like a toddler on 20 red bulls. Take off the helmet and take 3 big breaths. You are a big boy and you need to slow down and get your words out. Just because you are wearing a dumb helmet doesn't mean you are "IN THE GAME" All the judges took 3 steps back and were scared.
* Apparently wiseasses can make delicious food... the pate melt looks delicious! Richard, you charmer!
* Mark is all flustered from the previous night's bathtub interlude with Spike. Seriously. He should totally be in more control over his bahrbie.
* I would like to try Dale's ribs that won him this round. I'm glad he won so he wouldn't have to go into jealous tirades against the winner. He was surprisingly calm today and I really don't mind him too much.

Elimination
* Ryan blah blah blah blah blah. All warnings fall into place. Ryan eliminated. Ryan can go home and dress nice and learn what a piccata is.
* Nikki was so funny...she gets back into the room and was telling someone how much Ryan talks and wouldn't shut up. That was funny.

OK, so, from all of this I hope we can discern my faves and not fave chefs. However, if someone really pulls off a dish I would want to eat, they can earn favor points for the week. Just don't be a Brian from season 3 and try to schmooze me into liking your dish.

Faves: Richard, Dale, Antonia
So-So characters: Jen, Lisa, Mark
Least faves: Spike (both hat and non-hat versions), Nikki, Andrew


Since BEER was the quickfire challenge, I can now segue into Miller Chill beer. I love lime drinks. They have become my thang and it's fun to have a nice set of delicious drinks I can always rely on ordering. It was nice to know that Miller (go Milwaukee!) brewed up a nice beer I like WITH LIME.

Miller Chill is a chelada-style light beer. A refreshing take on an authentic Mexican beer recipe with a hint of lime & salt.

I like it. However, it has created fans and critics. I don't think the bar world likes this beer and my friends have formed strong opinions about it. Plus, it is kinda awkward going "I'll take a Chill."


So, in conclusion, everyone on Top Chef should Chill. Ha. Ha. The End.

Facebook groups

I'm amused by my facebook groups:

▪ I watch every Bravo reality show!
...yes, yes, I really do. Doesn't mean I LIKE them all, I just happen to watch them all. Those NY ladies are annoying, but gimme Top Chef or Project Runway any day!!!

▪ Why Yes, I Do Frequently Burst Out in Song
...me. all the way.

▪ Andre needs Facebook
... This is my friend Andre from college. He pretends to be all pretentious about facebook, but, really, he just needs to sign up and get over himself. haha.

▪ 10th Floor Wells East
... I started this group. My sophmore year of college on 10th floor Wells East dorm was so awesome. All the people that lived up there were so different and yet we all clicked. Amazing memories and amazing people. It has been so fun reconnecting with all of them. 10th floor really was the penthouse.

▪ Jitters Coffeehouse Alum
... Jitters is a coffeehouse inside of Wells Hall where I met a lot of people and had really good memories. It is even where my bestest met her husband!

▪ Go Fug Yourself
... I love love love this website. Too often in my life I had thought: Who really thinks these celebrities look good? They look AWFUL. Turns out, this website has catalogued all of these thoughts for everyone to laugh at ugly celebrities.

▪ The Ask Fig Show
... some crazy characters invited me to join this group. Not quite sure about them. Yet.

▪ Left-handed People Society
... I am left handed (so is the bubs) and I've always felt part of a "society". haha.

▪ iwanski/WINTER Show
... showing the uncle some luv.

▪ I will see "The Golden Compass" and you will get over it.
... all of the hype was just hilarious to me.

▪ Rippin' Good Cookies Fan Club
... I lived in Ripon and they have a cookie factory there. So many fond memories of my mom hauling us over there for some cookies. yummm

▪ We're not Crazy, We're just Catholic
... love this group. They post fun comments like:
----------Reasons why people think we're "crazy"---------
- We like to keep Mass interesting. We sit, stand and kneel, in no particular order. Probably just to keep the blood flowing.
- We all have 20 cousins. On each side of the family.
- We really like statues. A lot.
- The Virgin Mary is not a God and we don't treat her as such. But she is without sin, gave birth to Jesus and did it without having sex. That warrants more than a little respect.
- We actually get all the jokes in Dogma.
- There are two very different, irreconcilable factions in every single church in the world. They are known as the Saturday or Sunday Mass bunch.
- St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. SNAKES.
- The Catholic way of dealing with a mid-life crisis is having another kid.
- Mass is nearly unchanged after almost 2000 years. We're a little stubborn.
- Episcopalians are referred to as "Diet Catholics"
- We have Midnight Mass so there are no interruptions on Christmas morning
- Pope Benedict XVI scares you. Badly.
- Who created Family Guy? Oh yeah, a Catholic!
- Whenever anyone in Star Wars saga says "May the Force Be With You", we get the urge to say "And Also With You"

▪ TEAM NORA
... before our cousin Nora was born last August, all of us girl cousins were SO excited. We made our own team for that little angel. We're funny like that.

▪ WISCONSIN: OUT DRINKIN' YOUR STATE SINCE 1848!
....'nuff said.

▪ Stacy spelled the right way...
...I am of a strong conviction to really believe in a "correct" spelling of one's name.

▪ I ♥ Brummana
... This city produces some fine men. Like the one that I married. Such a beautiful and cool little town.

▪ MS Walk (Maryland)
... Givin the love to people walking to help cure MS.

▪ CLOSE THE SOA [School of Assassins]
... 'nuff said.

▪ The Panda Says No! Fans of Eats, Shoots & Leaves
... too often I need someone around when I yell "PANDA SAYS NO!"

▪ 'The Office' Lovers
... I love this show and I can't wait for it to be on tonight!

▪ Barack Obama (One Million Strong for Barack)
... I joined this a long long time ago. Givin some love to my candidate of choice.

▪ F.O.F.
... F.O.F. stands for "Friends of Faith." See, while the rest of my degenerate high school classmates were out drinking and being non-productive, a very amazing group of people would go sing at the local nursing homes. Then we'd gather at someone's house and talk about faith issues, play games, put on plays, and/or act silly. Not your typical high school experience, but one I am proud to be a part of!

▪ Happy Cows come from Wisconsin
... those "happy cows come from CA" commercials REALLY bother me. On some deep- fundamental-level-type bother me! We all know the happiest cows are in WISCONSIN. Who even lets those a-holes show those commercials here in Wisconsin?

▪ KIMPS
... KIMPS is a really fun game (one played often at FOF gatherings) that doesn't see much playing time anymore. It involves trying to signal to your partner that you have 4 cards of a kind in your hand. Your partner is supposed to yell out "KIMPS" when you do your secret signal and/or the other teams are supposed to guess if you are signalling your partner. Goooood times.

▪ *cousins*
... All of my cousins (well, various other assorted relatives have joined too!) formed a group. We talk about upcoming family gatherings and keep in touch.

Saturday Night: Travel Picture Edition!

A quick call to all the local bowling alleys reveals that all of them have league bowling on Saturday nights...except Bonduel lanes. So us girls pop in the car and head to Bonduel. As we drive in, we realize that Bonduel is a magical place where spelling champs of the 80s reigned supreme! Their city sign proclaims this land as "Wis Spelling Capital." We snap pictures and all I keep thinking is:

GAME ON BONDUEL SPELLING CHAMPS!


Look ma! No electronics at this here bowlin' alley! Shit. We have to do math and remember how to score bowling. We immediately assign K-Dawg scorer. After all, she took bowling in college. Neat!

OMG OMG OMG OMG. Three "alligator" drinks for the girls cost me ONLY $7.50 in Bonduel. THREE! TALLS! MINIMAL ICE! Who cares if we have to do math! WHEE!
OMG OMG OMG... Did you notice the NASCAR cup and the BENDY STRAW?

I begin to fall in love with small town Wisconsin.


K-Dawg in fine bowling form for the evening....


Whup whup. We score a bowling ball named "Lutz"


Ok. My brain hurts at the thought of this contraction: Lee'z
...and yes, the ceiling was that dirty.


Remember how I said GAME ON Bonduel? Remember? Yes, in the one space we stopped in Bonduel we found a misspelling. CONGRADULATIONS BONDUEL! You made my night.


Pickled Eggs: 75 cents
Everything else: priceless


Artistic bowling alley shot.


Who you callin a ho?!?!?

Today's Revelations

* I dont like peeling oranges. I like cutting them into wedges and eating the delicious part out of the skin.
* Eating oranges made me happy
* Static electricity at the gym is scary. Kept shocking my poor left ear!!
* The internet is an endless resource for learning about static electricity. I think I've cured what the problems were (dry skin, fresh laundered clothes, dry air, cold morning, dry shoes)
* Gimme Arabic bread (thin pita) and melted mozzarella and I am a happy woman
* Pineapple scented things are totally ruined when they contain other totally not necessary scents like coconut. Or mandarin orange. Or "tropical" artificial scents. WHY CAN'T IT JUST BE PINEAPPLE?
--> sidenote: Boo to yankee candle for discontinuing pineapple paradise. That scent was the only reason I ever bought from them...and was the BEST smelling thing EVAR.
* I can totally tune out anything when I'm reading a book.
* Tuning everything out while reading a book is fabulous.
* There is a big crack in our wall that I never noticed
* I really do love and appreciate all my friends
* A band from college that I know totally got 5000 times better with the changeup of the lead singer. I've told the guitarist that they've needed a new lead singer for YEARS. To know how much better they sound now is pretty gratifying
* I need to do dishes. yuck.
* The apartment really is a lot better now that I'm around a lot more
* I don't miss taking a billion phone calls a day and solving horrid insurance cases.
* I keep dreaming about past jobs I've held.
* I dream a lot. and a lot more vividly than most people. I had a dream this week containing some random person from high school. Then I get a message from his wife (who I also went to high school with) that they are expecting a baby girl. So random that I had a dream and an important announcement involving the same RANDOM person.
* Even when I have access to all the cable channels at the gym, I always seem to end up watching a channel I get at home. I'm just used to all the food network, bravo, style, and women's channel entertainment.
* I can't wait until I can go play tennis, go for a bike ride, have a picnic, BE OUTSIDE AND NOT BE COLD, go for morning walks, golf, etc
* I've set my goals for tomorrow: dishes, buying soil to start the patio garden, going to a strength class at the Y, and going through one cupboard in the kitchen to match containers to covers.
* I can't bring myself to get rid of the bridal magazines. Why?
* Enchanted is a delightful movie
* Cuddling and watching Enchanted is the best
* I definitely know which kind of contact lenses I'm going with. I was given two sets to try out and one is a ton better than the ones I'm wearing today.
* You don't need to have a fancy camera to take a good picture
* I love my bestest friend

Jukebox Friday: Walking in a winter wonderland..

Happy first day of spring! This is the scene that greeted us this morning. Plus, how lovely is it that it is STILL blizzarding out there. Puke.


I couldn't do a cute bunny spring song for Jukebox...so instead y'all get this

That's just how it's going to be today