Polish Sausage!

I'm going to throw in some disclaimers, a shout-out, and a short insight about me.

1) I do better when I just list out thoughts in list-form than true recappage. So, I'm going to list thoughts out below about last night's Top Chef episode
2) I really wasn't going to blog every week about Top Chef until Bethy went and had to tell me that she's "looking forward to my recap" last night when we were taling on the phone. That's a lot of pressure Bethy! oof oof! I promise I'm going to do one more full-on recap blog at a later point.
3) (and almost most importantly) I'll leave the recapping to the pros...

I'm really pretty new to cooking and knowing about good food. Through the wonderful influences of my foreign husband, dinners at the Johnsons, installments of baking with mums, watching the Food Network, and reading blogs (like Lorraine's!) I've really started on a journey of cooking. I'm not good, but I have a desire to cook really good food for a husband with a really excellent taste for food. He's not snooty about anything (hello, the boy loves him some spam. ew.), but he's grown up the Lebanese way: amazing female cooks that work hard, spoil him, and have the best mediterranean ingredients all on hand. That's a lot of pressure (!!), yes, but it has been ENJOYABLE pressure. The most important ingredient for cooking for me is the desire. I desire to have a good/healthy diet, cook really good food, and really make an effort to work on it. It helps when you have a friends like Bethy. It doesn't help when you have past failures.
I'm not really too good at baking. My brownies turn into gross dry cakes or rocks. I can't remember how many scoops of things I put into batters. It's just not pretty. My cookies turn out well, so at least I have a fall-back recipe I can always make. (Until it snows, I'm trapped, and cannot go get milk for icing!!!! grrr!) My mom and grandma are the bakers, so I actually grew up baking more than experimenting with cooking.

My baking anecdote leads into Top Chef this week.

The quickfire is to make an impressive dessert. The chefs freak and I get angry. HI! You are going on a cooking show called "Top Chef"! If you don't brush up on some things that you will encounter on the show, you are just screwing yourself!

- Richard really is a force to be reckoned with.
- Even though Richard fell into my category of "stupidity" for not practicing a dessert before going on the show, his creativity pulls through. I still think it's weak that he just cut bananas to look like scallops. How is that baking? How is this pastry? How does this win the quickfire?
- I still like Dale even though a lot of people don't out in blog world
- Lisa was all "telling herself" ridiculous things about "never making pastry" and "sticking by that." She's basically just saying, "Hey, Top Chef! Go F' yourselves!" (which she likes to say. a lot.)

(( Perches on soapbox: Again, I get angry. It's not like they pull these people off the streets and deposit them into the Top Chef kitchens. Wouldn't you want an advantage and do everything in your power to be the BESTEST and DOMINATE?? And, no, having a molten chocolate cake recipe memorized doesn't count (was this Spike?). I'd be bustin up some mean petit somethins, researching restaurant openings, blind tasting, using (and breaking) lil smokers, researching spices, learning to toss large croutons from dishes, learning to cook with 2 ingredients, etc. Gah. /end soapbox ))

- I think it is HILARIOUS that Jen predicted her own "packing of knives" and got eliminated for having a dumb piece of bread on her plate. They did the demo of how to eat their asparagus, so I didn't see the need for making a phallic plate of food. So much for "winning this for Zoi"
- The improv happened and the audience yelled "Polish Sausage." Antonia and Lisa then thought they had to "improv" further. No. Your job was to use the audience's improv. I think Lisa should have been eliminated... well, I WAS still bitter about her quickfire comments.
- I wondered what "salted basil ganache" tastes like
- Awwww, Spike got to do his soup. How precious. Now go home. (actually, he's gotta be out of recipes/ridiculous hats by now. Vietnemese spring rolls, check. Soup, check. Yep, he's done)
- Mark was really weird with Spike again this week. I swear something went on in the bathtub. Ew.... but didn't you pick up on it too?!
- Chilean Sea Bass must be on sale at Whole Foods a lot. It's been featured too much.
- The judges were correct: if you serve a dish and call it a "ménage a tois" it better stick to THREE ingredients. TOIS. No more.
- HAHA, unnecessary bread is many a top chef's downfall.
- The tequila shot by Lisa and Antonia was AWKWARD when they didn't have any for the guests. I repeat, AWKWARD!
- ANDREW! FOCUS! put down your sugar. stop hopping up and down.

Overall, I liked this episode. Not too much bitching and no fighting and only about two swears from Lisa (50 cents into the cookie jar bitch!).

See a much funnier/more official recap HERE

Top Chefs need Miller Chill

So Top Chef has been on for a few episodes and I thought it was time to weigh in a bit on this show so far. Plus I can talk about Miller Chill per Iwanski request.

Top Chef opened last night replaying all the ridiculous fights from last week

Spike vs Antonia: Spike was mad that they didn't go with soup (and the judges say they would have loved that) and lashed out a bit at ms. immunity. This fight doesn't really bother me nearly as much as Spike's ridiculous hats. Spike was just venting a bit. I'm over it.

Jen vs Spike: Ridiculous fight. As ridiculous as Spike's hats. Jen really thought Spike should have been sent home rather than her girlfriend Zoi. However, I'm really taking Spike's side on this. Did Jen taste the infamous mushrooms? Plus the pasta salad and some other of Zoi's blah creations are really what sent her home. Spike even mentioned to Zoi to season the mushrooms and Zoi thought they were "delicious." If an entire room of people and judges think that the concept of the dish was bad (Antonia's fault) and then have a really bad component to it (Zoi's fault) then Spike should be safe. Jen did not need to chime in and kick a chair etc. Carrying on and foolishness!

Dale vs Lisa: Where did this fight come from? Like, out of nowhere all of a sudden the winning team members start yelling at each other. I think Dale was pretty bitter that he didnt' win. Lisa can apparently cook some mean bacon with syrup? I'm going to hold judgement on this to a bit further on....

/end replaying of last week's fights

The scene opens on a glorious Chicago day with Ryan (my least fave) doing.. yoga? in pj pants? Probably trying to stay out of the fights and the crying and the bitching and the foolishness. Probably Ryan (my least fave) is still trying to meditate on what chicken Piccata is. That really still bothers me. I even know what piccata is!

Jen is still crying over how talented and lovely Zoi is. Sistah please. Now she's all "I'm going to win this for US." Fine. It was bound to happen that one of them would be sent home before the other. Didn't they prepare for this? Oh, and I'm not saying there are other people there that should have been eliminated before Zoi, but Zoi apparently can't SEASON UNDER PRESSURE. I'm still taking Spike's side despite ridiculous hats.

Then we have an interesting interlude between Dale and Lisa again. Dale apologizes for his manner of blowing up at Lisa, but still lets her know that she is a big debbie downer and is bringing everyone down with her constant bitching. Well, now I can have my take on this because Dale apologized. If Dale hadn't apologized, I probably would have taken Lisa's side. Dale let the jealousy get the best of him and that is just not cool. Now I'm on Dale's side because Lisa IS a force of somethin awful. I'm not quite sure if it is negativity per se. But she SWEARS and BITCHES. a. lot. While cooking, while walking, while talking, while getting apologized to. A big fierce pit of swearage is always under the surface with her. Just a tad disturbing. I knew this season would be interesting because of all the potty mouths running around. They all seem so uptight and all up on their fences defending EVERYTHING. "Dale can go F' himself." Nice, Lisa, nice.

Over to the quickfire challenge.

BEER!

I like seeing all the reactions of the chefs.
* Surprised by Dale's gusto over beer.
* Spike doesn't drink but wears ridiculous hats. I swear at the block party he was downing beers and he totally seems like a beer guy.
* Richard is a good little chef who listens to what Padma is asking them to do: something simple that matches with the beer. I like this about Richard.

I'm not sure how to take simplicity on this show. Most of the time when chefs go "simple" they just dumb down the food...or make really complicated things and try to pass them off as simple. I take "simple" as a few ingredients that most of the average population could relate to and want to eat.

I think out of the quick fire I would want to try the clams (can't remember which chicky made them) because they go well with beer. I would also try Richard's dish (which I can't remember what it was other than simple ingredients on bread...tuna I think?). Most ridiculous was Ryan's creation.... wtf is an Espelette??!? He rhymed it with his lamb crepinette so maybe rhyming was his idea of keeping it simple?

Also, the quickfire was awkward when the guest judge picked Jen's creation. It seemed almost that the judge was hitting on Jen in Zoi's absence. Maybe that's just my eerie feeling about it all. Beignets with some purees don't sound like something I'd want to wash down with a beer. Jen feels vindicated in Zoi's absence. whatevs.

Now I'm just going to do some quick notes

Prep Day
* Hi Whole Foods!
* Richard admits he's a wiseass! Richard is growing on me...
* Mark throws in "Shrimp on the bahrbie" and it made me giggle. I'm lame like that.
* Ryan is weird. He's all "Californian" and would rather have clothes over sports. Fine. But it seems he would rather have nice clothes and chicks over being a chef. I'm just really getting that impression. Why would you want to metrosexualize a tailgating event? All the warning signs are flaring up in my brain. Why doesn't Ryan use his metrosexual skillz and tell Spike to stop wearing ridiculous hats?
* OOOOOH Spike can prep like a maniac! ooooh. He can even multitask: wear a ridiculous hat, stick his tongue out, AND prep food! ooooh.
* Richard makes another wiseass comment and I'm lauging. Richard is charming me over...
* Didn't people learn from the block party event? I can't remember which girl was going on and on about making food for "fat men with beer." That's a warning light going off in my head again...

Back at the house
* Richard reminds us that wiseasses need to unwind and relax.
* Mark and Spike in the bathtub (NOT a hot tub) was a weird scene. Antonia's joke about it being a "cheap porno" wound up in all this week's promos, but, seriously, it WAS like a cheap porno. Two men in a bathtub talking about how they are comfortable with their sexuality. NO one would join them because ** no reminders needed ** it's JUST A BATH TUB. That New Zealand Mark is just a bit off this week in my mind.

Day of tailgating (yummmm)
* Colicchio looks like he's metrosexualizing things up with his fancy scarf and cap. Why couldn't he just wear the jersey and a normal cap?
* Ryan turns into full of shit schmoozer guy. He's totally channeling Brian from Season 3. Everybody hated Brian. Don't be a Brian. Warning lights going off in my head again
* Andrew, please. Andrew is like a toddler on 20 red bulls. Take off the helmet and take 3 big breaths. You are a big boy and you need to slow down and get your words out. Just because you are wearing a dumb helmet doesn't mean you are "IN THE GAME" All the judges took 3 steps back and were scared.
* Apparently wiseasses can make delicious food... the pate melt looks delicious! Richard, you charmer!
* Mark is all flustered from the previous night's bathtub interlude with Spike. Seriously. He should totally be in more control over his bahrbie.
* I would like to try Dale's ribs that won him this round. I'm glad he won so he wouldn't have to go into jealous tirades against the winner. He was surprisingly calm today and I really don't mind him too much.

Elimination
* Ryan blah blah blah blah blah. All warnings fall into place. Ryan eliminated. Ryan can go home and dress nice and learn what a piccata is.
* Nikki was so funny...she gets back into the room and was telling someone how much Ryan talks and wouldn't shut up. That was funny.

OK, so, from all of this I hope we can discern my faves and not fave chefs. However, if someone really pulls off a dish I would want to eat, they can earn favor points for the week. Just don't be a Brian from season 3 and try to schmooze me into liking your dish.

Faves: Richard, Dale, Antonia
So-So characters: Jen, Lisa, Mark
Least faves: Spike (both hat and non-hat versions), Nikki, Andrew


Since BEER was the quickfire challenge, I can now segue into Miller Chill beer. I love lime drinks. They have become my thang and it's fun to have a nice set of delicious drinks I can always rely on ordering. It was nice to know that Miller (go Milwaukee!) brewed up a nice beer I like WITH LIME.

Miller Chill is a chelada-style light beer. A refreshing take on an authentic Mexican beer recipe with a hint of lime & salt.

I like it. However, it has created fans and critics. I don't think the bar world likes this beer and my friends have formed strong opinions about it. Plus, it is kinda awkward going "I'll take a Chill."


So, in conclusion, everyone on Top Chef should Chill. Ha. Ha. The End.