Random fun

Grab the nearest book, turn to page 18, and write down line 4 of that page:

"All eyes were riveted on the Dutchman." (Robert Ludlum, The Matarese Countdown)

Jukebox Friday- Extended Weekend!

This would be one of my favorite songs from the 80s. Apparently nothing did break this guy's stride because he still exists in the music industry....he even produced No Doubt's "Tragic Kingdom" album (which was my 2nd cd ever purchased).

Have a great weekend everyone!

Had to share....crying I'm laughing so much

Beginning....fine fine.... fast forward a bit to where this video gets REALLY WEIRD. Then pee your pants a little because you're laughing so hard. What? You didn't...oh....nevermind.

The "In-my-world-this-would-be-a-crime" Crime

Today I had a huge raging headache that didn't go away after I tried to unsuccessfully drug it with caffeine (since I do get caffeine-withdrawal headaches) and ibuprofen. Before resorting to a trio sampler of hard liquor, hard drugs, and cement-block-to-the-head, I calmly suggested we eat out somewhere quick so I wouldn't have to cook. In my uninspired headache mode, I mumbled seafood and we ended up at the local joint. Menu sampler seen here

Fine. I order the lobster seafood roll in my uninspired mumbled state. I am presented with an ice-cream scoop size of premade lobster/seafood/mayo and a cold hard hoagie. Oh yeah, with some shit lettuce thrown on to make up for the lack of seafood-to-bun ratio. It is immediate that I notice the roll...Yes, I can SEE the lack of distinguishing toasty/grillage marks. I then feel how cold and UNTOASTY/GRILLY it is. I poke it with my fork and it sponges back to its unsofty untoasty state. I flip through the images in my brain and know the menu states "grilled hoagie" or some sort. I mentally go to a whiney-unhappy-non grilly-non toasty-state.

Ugh.

Of course it takes the waitress a good 3/4 of the way into my scoop of seafood to drag her happy ass over to our table to ask how things are. My life companion got the most delicious fish ever for a change and blurts out an enthusiastic "GREAT!" to the waitress... (I glare jealously) ... And I squeak out a meager "Actually..." I proceeded to demonstrate how falsely prepared the roll was and my complete dissatisfaction with their product.

Now, I know how uncomfortable it is as a waitress to be presented with an unhappy client. Some people don't even complain because of that precise moment when you feel like the complete asshole for bringing up stuff that isn't really their fault. HOWEVER, there are appropriate actions for any good waitress to take.

Step 1: Offer to replace bad portion of the food. This is the knee-jerk reaction to any complaint that a portion of the food is bad. I'm not disagreeing with this step, but in my situation it's just mind-boggling how I would suddenly want them to deliver a single bun on a plate 3/4 of the way into the meal.

Step 2+: Offer any way to compensate or make the customer happy. I guess my waitress couldn't conjure up anything else in her head to satisfy my unhappiness because she just said "Oh." after I declined her step 1 offer. Not good. Now I have to conjure up in my brain a scenario that doesn't make it sound like I'm pathetic for complaining. I blurt out, "Just go tell the cook and your manager not to serve this menu item like this..." Ugh, you know all I'm thinking INSIDE my head is:
- gimme a coupon
- gimme a drink
- gimme a dollah off sistah
- gimme item for free
- gimme, gimme, gimme.

Nope, I instead witness her go tell her manager. "Cool" methinks. Wrong. I think I mouth-read those mofos taking my complaint sarcastically. There was no grovelling back to our table by any manager. They probably took my picture and will have the cooks spit in my food next time I'm there.

While you all probably think I'm thinking the crime lay in lack of customer service, I'm actually still thinking about that damn hoagie roll. You just don't serve any type of seafood roll on a dry cold bun. Crime committed. Judge Sfoofie rules 22 months of community service feeding old bread to birds.

Bonus

If you couldn't get enough of Shakira with the earlier post, I'll give you a bonus. This one is my second favorite song of Shakira's and this version was taken from her Dubai concert. She starts out with an old old Arabic chant song and through the power of Shakira, transforms it into this upbeat Spanish modern song. I think it is very interesting musically and now you can see how Shakira evolved.



I don't even know Spanish well and I just love these songs....that's the beauty of Shakira I think.

Jukebox Friday- A hip-shakin good time!

A delightful combination of Spanish, Arabic, and Shakira. It is my favorite song by Shakira for both the meaning of the words, the wonderful Spanish, and the part where she sings the Arabic. The video is a tad cheesy, but it is fun to see some of this "early" Shakira work. Nowadays she has so much confidence in her music and videos that they are on a whole different level of sexiness.

(ps: Don't even go searching for the English version...it is actually quite horrible. I'll just link you to the English lyrics.)



Lyrics:
Ayer conocí un cielo sin sol
y un hombre sin suelo
un santo en prisión
y una canción triste sin dueño
ya he ya he ya la he
y conocí tus ojos negros
ya he ya he ya la he
y ahora sí que no
puedo vivir sin ellos yo

coro
le pido al cielo sólo un deseo
que en tus ojos yo pueda vivir
he recorrido ya el mundo entero
y una cosa te vengo a decir
viaje de Bahrein hasta Beirut
fuí desde el norte hasta el polo sur
no encontré ojos así
como los que tienes tú

rabbou ssamai fika rrajaii
fi ainaika ara hayati
ati ilaikoum ya baladaho
arjouka Rabbi labbi nidai
viaje de Bahrein hasta Beirut
fuí desde el norte hasta el polo sur
y no encontré ojos así
como los que tienes tú

Ayer vi pasar una mujer
debajo de su camello
un río de sal y un barco
abandonado en el desierto
ya he ya he ya la he
y vi pasar tus ojos negros
ya he ya he ya la he
y ahora sí que no
puedo vivir sin ellos yo

coro

rabbou ssamai fika rrajaii
fi ainaika ara hayati
ati ilaikoum ya baladaho
arjouka Rabbi labbi nidai
viaje de Bahrein hasta Beirut
fuí desde el norte hasta el polo sur
no encontré ojos así
como los que tienes tú

coro

Whoa. Sage, this is a fun one!

The ones in Bold I have tried..... I'm like her too: Just because I have tried this food it doesn't mean I like it. I will also italicize the gross ones.
This is my opinion so if you disagree, comment away. That's what the comments are for!

Venison
Nettle tea
Huevos rancheros
Steak tartare
Crocodile
Black pudding
Cheese fondue
Carp
Borscht
Baba ghanoush
Calamari
Pho
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Aloo gobi
Hot dog from a street cart
Epoisses
Black truffle
Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (ain't nothin like ho-made blackberry wine)
Steamed pork buns
Pistachio ice cream
Heirloom tomatoes
Fresh wild berries
Foie gras
Rice and beans (rice and beans are some of my least favorite things ever)
Brawn or head cheese
Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
Dulce de leche
Oysters
Baklava
Bagna cauda
Wasabi peas
Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
Salted lassi
Sauerkraut (although I don't hate cabbage as much as my mother, I think sauerkraut is gross)
Root beer float
Cognac with a fat cigar
Clotted cream tea
Vodka jelly
Gumbo
Oxtail
Curried goat
Whole insects
Phaal
Goat’s milk
Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
Fugu
Chicken tikka masala
Eel
Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
Sea urchin
Prickly pear
Umeboshi
Abalone
Paneer
McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
Spaetzle
Dirty gin martini
Beer above 8% ABV
Poutine
Carob chips
S’mores
Sweetbreads
Kaolin
Currywurst
Durian
Frogs’ legs
Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
Haggis
Fried plantain
Chitterlings or andouillette
Gazpacho
Caviar and blini
Louche absinthe
Gjetost, or brunost
Roadkill (does it count if I know someone who would eat roadkill?)
Baijiu
Hostess Fruit Pie
Snail
Lapsang souchong
Bellini
Tom yum
Eggs Benedict
Pocky
Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
Kobe beef
Hare
Goulash
Flowers
Horse
Criollo chocolate
Spam
Soft shell crab
Rose harissa
Catfish
Mole poblano
Bagel and lox
Lobster Thermidor
Polenta
Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
Snake

Delicious Salad

Toss together:
Romaine lettuce
Apple chunks
Toasted Pecans
Raspberry Vinaigrette
Montrachet cheese*
(*ok, so the montrachet cheese at the store was extremely expensive and only came in a ridiculously huge size which I would never use up in 8 years, so I decided to use light cream cheese chunks and they actually tasted fine.)

Simple and delicious. I even got doubter mcdoubtpants to enjoy it.

Creep-tastical.

Speaking of creepy, there was one portion of the Olympic opening ceremonies that completely freaked me out: Sarah Brightman. I commented that she looked crazy/creepy while singing and wondered if she had been locked up by the Chinese for 16 days before they allowed her to sing. Brainwash? Maybe. Ok, so last week I happened to be flipping through channels (on our new 40in behemoth TV) and caught a snippet of the horrid pot of morning gruel they like to call the "Today Show." They had just announced that Sarah Brightman would be up next to give an interview...cool....but, then, they cut away to her. I. Was. Terrified. It was all over in a minute but I couldn't help but think that something was terribly wrong with my world. I contemplated if she was sending out cult signals with her brain waves and I would never know if I'd wake up the next day. It was a little smile and then instant crazed huge-eyes-alien-stare. My next thought was to wonder if I was the only person who witnessed this strange moment. I mean, c'mon, who watches the Today show? LUCKILY for everyone here, some person told another person and E! Channel's "The Soup" caught on to this awesomely creepy moment and made fun of it. And I can share it here:


I. Love. The Soup.

Also...

Funny of the day

You know you wanna click it

The Onion has also been spot-on lately with providing quality Olympic coverage as well.

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

I didn't get around to posting a tune yesterday - pesky "applying for jobs" thing got in the way. It means today I can hook you up with an amazingly fun little thing called "Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog."

From Wikipedia:

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is a 43-minute musical film produced exclusively for Internet distribution. It tells the story of Dr. Horrible, the aspiring supervillain alter ego of Billy; Captain Hammer, his nemesis; and Penny, their mutual love interest. The movie was written by writer/director Joss Whedon, his brothers Zack Whedon (a television writer) and Jed Whedon (a composer), and Jed's fiancée, actress Maurissa Tancharoen. The writing team penned the musical during the WGA writers' strike. The idea was to create something small and inexpensive, yet professionally done, in a way that would circumvent the issues that were being protested during the strike.

Neil Patrick Harris is awesome in it and it just the perfect little quirky thing to entertain and delight you all. For 43 minutes anyway. You can see it here, but I'm going to post the fun song "Laundry Day" below for a little sample.




Have a quirky, fun, amazing, and awesome weekend everyone!

A meme to get back into blogging again...

1. What is your occupation right now? Former child prodigy on sabbatical contemplating retirement.

2. What color are your socks right now? My little piggies are roaming free

3. What are you listening to right now? All is really strangely quiet.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? I created and ate off of a grilled cheese sampler platter. It's what happens when two people can't decide on cheese/bread/grilling techniques. You simply create a multitude of options, made notes, and decide what is the best option for future grillage of cheese on bread.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yep. I actually miss driving stick-shift.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Dougie fresh. He's visiting tonight after being out and about in this world on some UN sponsored trip. Awesomeness.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I'd like to think of Sage as my darling twitter buddy.

8. How old are you today? 27 and 10 days! Oh, mentally I'm about 16 today.

9. What is your favourite sport to watch? Well, before I answer, I must forgive whomever for taking creative license to add in a U to favorite. Ok, that's out of the way. I really like watching ice skating the most. Secondly, I like watching tennis, all of winter olympics, most of summer olympics (NOT FORGIVING NBC FOR HORRIBLE OLYMPIC COVERAGE), and baseball if I'm at the field.

10. What is your favourite drink? I mainly have taken a strong liking to water, but unsupervised I think I could drink gallons of Mountain Dew. Any alcohol drink that rhymes with "parjimitas" and/or contains ample doses of lime content are thoroughly favoUrited in my world.

12. What is the last movie you watched? Gladiator on VHS. Realized our Gladiator on VHS has been viewed so much that it is scrawbly (ooh, fun made-up word) in most parts and I should probably invest in a DVD copy.

13.Favorite day of the year? Probably my birthday. Nothing cures "no holiday in August" like my birthday.

14. How do you vent anger? I express displeasure in a most expletive way. Then it's all out and I usually feel better in 6 seconds.

15. What was your favourite toy as a child? Dolls, Barbies, and Legos.
(sidenote: hey Beth, why didn't we ever build a Lego Barbie house?)

16. What is your favorite season? Fall

17. Cherries or Blueberries? blueberries. for pancakes and muffins of course.

18. Do you want your friends to add this meme to their blogs? I could make crazed demands and full-bodied threats and rant until they do, but I'm just not that type of person. But if they value my friendship, they'd answer.

19. Who is the most likely to respond? Poodums my friendly ghost.

20. Who is least likely to respond? Aunt Jemima.

21. Living arrangements? Great 2 bedroom apartment with a great husband. Great location, great space, great pool, great amounts of storage space. Oh, F-BEEPING-GREAT, the kids outside are screaming. *counts to 6* Yes, great place.
(haha, just discovering that great no longer looks like it is spelled right or is actually a word anymore. greaty great great.)

22.When was the last time you cried? I haven't cried...oh, yeah. Nevermind.

23. What is on the floor of your closet? A basket full of pj clothes that don't fit anywhere else in my dresser and are too comfy to hang up.

24. Who is the friend you have had the longest? my mums. awww.

25 What did you do last night? Watched Project Runway and played WordTwist on Facebook. I AM UNDEFEATED.

26. What inspires you? Big dreamers, lots of money, crayons.

27. What are you most afraid of? Something attacking me while I'm sleeping.

28. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Put some peppah on it.

29. Favourite dog breed? Beagles(WAAAY before Uno won Westminster), Labradoodles(sorry, but I do like the hybrids), and I've taken a strong liking to my parent's Bassett Hound(awww Babe is so adorable)

30. Favourite day of the week? Sunday

31. How many states have you lived in? Just Cheeseland

32.Biggest Life lesson? Be generous, kind, and never stop dreaming.
(Yeah, I know that was 3 lessons in 1.)

Jukebox Friday - Nerds are all around us...

I should start out by saying that I don't like seeing that my last post was last Jukebox Friday. This week I turned 27 and I have a lot to blog about, but I think I fell into a writer's depression this week. OK, so maybe it was just a big pit of lime vodka, cherry schnapps, and tequila. I can comment that I had a fantastical birthday and everything should be great, but I finally admitted this week that I need a job. Y'all are groaning and throwing things at me, but this seriously should be a time for me to make money. Before the big expensical items come along like houses and babies.

ANYWHOO. This song we heard in Lebanon and it is very nerdy, trust...BUT it gets in your head and has quirky lyrics about cake and science and my favorite lyrics:

I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!

The song is from the end-credits for a nerdy game called "Portal" and it was composed by Jonathan Coulton. Jonathan Coulton is the genius behind "Code Monkey" and "Tom Cruise Crazy" and other fantastical songs you can hear HERE. (seriously listen to Tom Cruise Crazy. Skullcrusher Mountain and the melodic cover of Baby Got Back are great too.)

Enjoy all this nerdiness kids.

Jukebox Friday - singing loudly in my car

This was on the radio this morning and I cranked it up and sang really really loudly. I am, my dear friends, a child of the 80s.