The balance of lives

Li Beirut - To Beirut

A greeting from my heart to Beirut
kisses to the sea and to the houses
to a rock, which is like an old sailor’s face
She is made from the people’s soul..from wine
She is from his sweat…a bread and jasmine
So how does her taste become? A taste of fire and smoke

Glory from the ashes to Beirut
My city has turned out her lamp
From the blood of a child carried upon her hand
She shut her door, and became alone in the sky
Alone with the night
You are mine, you are mine
Ah Hug me you are mine
You are my flag, tomorrow stone
And a travel’s waves
The wounds of my people have blossomed
And mothers tear
You are mine, you are mine
Ah Hug me

Motherhood, love this....

There was something so valuable about what happened when one became a mother. For me it was the most liberating thing that ever happened to me. . . . Liberating because the demands that children make are not the demands of a normal ‘other.’ The children’s demands on me were things that nobody ever asked me to do. To be a good manager. To have a sense of humor. To deliver something that somebody could use. And they were not interested in all the things that other people were interested in, like what I was wearing or if I were sensual. . . . Somehow all of the baggage that I had accumulated as a person about what was valuable just fell away. I could not only be me -– whatever that was -– but somebody actually needed me to be that. . . . If you listen to [your children], somehow you are able to free yourself from baggage and vanity and all sorts of things, and deliver a better self, one that you like. The person that was in me that I liked best was the one my children seemed to want. - Toni Morrison.

As You are Now

I will take up all your tears
Salty tissues through the years
Spread them in the sun to dry
Diamonds from each time you cry

I will treasure all your teeth
Your laughter and the pearls beneath
Keep them in a cardboard box
Through the tickings and the tocks

I will gather all your hair
Floating in the sultry air
We will make a braid of gold
For you to keep when you are old

Now I kiss your milky skin
Sheet of silk and soul within
Put this kiss upon your brow
Treasure you as you are now

For Obvious and Hidden Reasons....

The original version by Ben Harper is really nice acoustical jam...but this one is softer and still cool too. Our little family. The three of us.

Evidence

 
....this is what it is like to be married to a nerd. You walk upstairs and find a lair of cords.

Also, this only scratches the mere cord-surface of the multitude of cordage we possess. There are boxes (as you can see in the picture) and vast pits of cords you can find in this household. Which is why I find it hilarious every time we have to purchase a new cord to hook something up - If only the nerd could macguyver this whole cord system up (duct tape?) and connect everything we ever needed to connect again.

hmmmmm.....then again it IS really nice to be able to watch computer stuff on our big TV. Way to go you awesome, cord purchasing, hooker-upper, nerdy husband. Yeah.

Your quest is over....

Officially the worst food for you evar.

Dear Kurt....

I hope you are on a journey to peace of mind. I can only think that it truly wasn't you that went for a new pair of shoes and never returned. I cannot imagine your unwinding and grasping for pieces of paper to write out some ramblings and feeling so overwhelmed with life. You, Kurt, had just written to me about playing Tetris party soon. You, Kurt, had laughed about the holes in your shoes. You, Kurt, had just shared a dinner party. I cannot believe that you, Kurt, made that leap that night.

We'll never have the answers - although I'm not sure if you had written in a precise clarity that it would have made this all any easier. Just a different journey I would think.

I ask the Lord today to make me an instrument of His peace to be there for your beloved wife. I channel fervent prayers for everyone tomorrow.

We deeply mourn for you, my friend...

ffft ffft

Lostie freak

Not sure if anyone else watches Lost, but this recappy list was unbelievably HILARIOUS:

Let's begin with a quick refresher on "How to Get Your Ass Back to the Island":

* Step 1: Have Mrs. Hawking show you her super-retro subterranean Dharma station (I'm pretty sure the Lamp Post is our first confirmed off-island Dharma hub). Inside, her phalanx of 128k mainframes are crunching up-to-the-second latitude and longitude figures so the island's next location can be determined (it can also track Margaritaville). It's nearly impossible to find the island's current location because that jumpy little land mass is in constant motion, but thanks to electromagnetic pockets, fuzzy math and a giant pendulum, Mrs. Hawking and her trusty TRS-80s can pinpoint the island's next location.

* Step 2: Get the band back together. The island is anal about return visits, so it's important you re-create the details from your maiden trip. This means rounding up the old crew -- Jack, Kate, Sun, Hurley, Sayid, Dead Locke; with Ben, Frank Lapidus and a few newbies thrown in for extra flavor -- and booking a flight with a specific trajectory (Ajira Airways flight 316, Los Angeles to Guam, should do the trick).

Important Travel Advisory: Sloppiness and oversights -- like neglecting to bring the kid who was born on the island -- can lead to "unpredictable" results.

* Step 3: Proxify the dead guy. Since your dead daddy was socked away in Oceanic 815's cargo hold during Trip No. 1, you're going to need to adorn your new dead guy (Locke) with something once owned by the old dead guy (Dr. Christian Shephard). I'm not entirely sure why dead guys need to share clothes, but that's the rule and we're sticking to it.

* Step 4: Go first class. Coach passengers tend to get sucked from cracked fuselages or become inevitable casualties during mercenary attacks and flaming-arrow battles. Be safe. Live large.

* Step 5: If someone gives you a suicide note, read the friggin' thing.

* Step 6: Enjoy the trip and holla at your boy Jacob when you arrive.

Foods I DON'T LIKE. Thankyouverymuch.

Here are some foods I can think of that I don't like....

1. Olives. Except that one time when we had a lovely bloggy dinner partay and that tapenade was made. That was salty/garlic-y enough for me to enjoy a smidge. I've tried "fake" ones, "real" greek ones, supposedly "amazing" ones, every color....and still they are bleck.

2. Beans. I like green beans, thas IT. I ate fouul (middle eastern dish) for breakfast in Lebanon out of sheer politeness to jiddo (grandpa). It was spiced/garlic-y enough for me to get past the pastey taste of the beans.

3. Fish eggs on sushi. They POP like bubble wrap and it freaks me out.

4. Fruit / meat combo - like pineapple chicken. Can't quite put my finger on why I don't like this one.

5. Fruit / chocolate combo. Even chocolate covered strawberries are meh.

6. Radishes. They taste all burn-y.

7. Spicy foods. They taste all burn-y. I do try spicy Thai or Indian dishes, but haven't found a way to really enjoy the extreme heat.

8. Pie crust. I'll eat the middle and a graham crackery crust. That's just how I likes me pie.

9. Soy milk. I've tried them all and I can't find a way to like it. I wish I did because it would add some nutritional value without a lot of the milk calories.

10. Rice chex. In any given Chex mix they'll be the dark rice chex and I pick them out. Hmmm, also: I don't mind rice, but it's not huge with me.

Jukebox Friday - The title makes me giggle.

This song is titled "Mushaboom" which is an absolutely adorable title. Go Feist, I love your music...



Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born oh
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups oh

But in the meantime we've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house oh
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done oh

How many acres, how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Old dirt road rambling rose
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Well I'm Sold...

I was tagged by a bajillion peoples to do this 25 thing thing.

1. I always want to help people. It usually ends up that I get way (way) too involved and it spins about and out of control. There just is this teensy bit of guilt - I hate to think about something falling apart that I could help keep together.

2. I have the weirdest dreams. By now this is maybe a known thing with me, but this fun fact is on my mind because of last night's dream. Last night I dreamt I had adopted two cats (one fat female tabby cat, one tiger striped female cat) and found out a guy had stolen the cats. Then I was on a high speed chase with this guy....In my car someone else was driving and I had the two cats in a small box (?!) I let the cats out of the box and they walked all over the driver during this high speed chase, so I had to put them back in the box. I ended up back at my old old house in C-ville and found out one of the cats had died (?!) BUT, the weirdest part is that the "cat" that had "died" was just a picture of a cat on a piece of paper. I was crying and hugging the "live" cat and looking at the piece of paper on the carpet in my old bedroom. WTF.

3. I hate working out. I have gone for weeks working out every single day and I STILL hate it. Yes, there is the feeling of "accomplishment" and following through on a commitment, but, I hate everything else about it. Don't get me wrong, I love all sorts of high-energy/endurance sports like volleyball, tennis, etc., but it is not the same as this gym thing. So pardon me when I want to punch someone in their face that just can't shut their yapping about how "awesome!" and "super awesome" and "de-stressed!" out they feel after working out.

4. I saw my poli-sci mentor on public TV Sunday and it made me yearn to go back to school. For about 10 seconds. Still, it made me realize I should do a better job keeping up on intricacies of foreign policy and international relations.

5. I am the first grandchild on all sides of the families to graduate from college. I guess I feel pretty proud about that.

6. I am a very fast reader. I devour books. Saturday I read an entire book I had just checked out from the library. The other book (Orlando by Woolf) I just couldn't get into. Time to go back to the library and find two new books.

7. I get very embarrassed/weird when I see people kissing on TV or in a movie. I sometimes even change the channel.

8. I used to not look people in the eyes when I was talking to them. Then, one day, a teacher asked me point-blank why I didn't. I'd like to thank that guy for teaching me confidence.

9. I like to think of myself as an extremely open person. I feel I can talk to all people in all walks of life.

10. I have some strange sort of pride about people from the state of Wisconsin. I love hearing stories about foreigners who find "my people" endearing and wonderful.

11. I hate it when national news comes to Wisconsin, finds some doober, and puts him/her in the national spotlight. Seriously, WHERE do they find these people? There must be some holding facility and special bus that transports people when they hear national news is coming to town.

12. I'm totally craving chocolate frosting in between graham crackers today. I'm not really a chocolate person, but for some reason I remembered my mum used to use leftover chocolate frosting in between graham crackers.... I haven't been able to get it out of my head.

13. Rollercoasters make me ill, but I love them. A trip to six flags goes like this: ride awesome ride, puke, go out and sit in car and feel awful, feel a little better, go back in, ride awesome ride, puke. end of trip.

14. I still can't eat Cheetos because of rollercoaster pukage.

15. I love playing baseball. I could/can play catch with my brother for hours. I also beat this little douchebag in a little league fielding contest. he's now in the baseball minor leagues. maybe I wouldn't call him mean names if he wasn't all "I'm going to beat you because you are a dumb girl."

16. I don't really care for softball. On the other hand, a summer softball league led to my nickname and that makes me smile. People have a hard time adjusting to my married last name.

17. I see a spider, I kill it. No big deal. I see many other insects, fine, I'll kill them too. I have a bee in my vicinity and I PROCEED TO FREAK OUT LIKE A DUMB GIRL WHO PROBABLY CAN'T BEAT YOU IN A FIELDING CONTEST. Hey, I have my reasons. Namely, the time a bee flew down my shirt as I was riding my bike. So I got stung really badly AND made a car swerve and not kill me. Yay.

18. 4 is my favorite number. The fact that Barack and I share 8/4 as a birthday and he is the 44th president excites my inner number geek.

19. I associate with many many different types of people. When I see different friend groups colliding it fascinates me. Or if I have those "small town" moments while travelling / in a random place. It is a pretty fun feeling to run into people you know in crazy places.

20. Manousheh is, hands down, my absolute favorite food in the world.


21. Any lime flavored drink is my absolute favorite drink in this world. So, I guess, give me a margarita and manousheh for breakfast and I will have a blissful day. (wipes drool off blogpost)

22. Sometimes the absence of a reason strengthens my resolve to stick with something. It is what it is.

23. I did a baton routine to Kokomo when I was little that I swear I could still perform today. I loved that damn baton class.

24. Funniest advice ever given to me? My lovely aunts have informed me in the past: "don't worry, you can turn that into a drinking game...." So, I guess when life gets you down, turn it into a drinking game!

25. I love the feeling of driving up a mountain with music cranked snuggling against the one I love and feeling home. Home is where your heart is.

Jukebox - You may say that I'm a dreamer....

This is a rather nice version, wouldn't you agree? Sorry for not having a "real" music video - sometimes you go with whatever South American slide show you find on the youtubes.

PS: I'm up way to early for a Saturday.

Jukebox Friday - Love Reign O'er Me

As I was watching the hbo event online, I saw a performer named Bettye LaVette and was pretty blown away by her voice. When I looked her up on the good ol' youtube I discovered this gem. Very soulsy and bluesy and yummsy.

From the youtube description:

This astonishing, guttural, hypnotic rendition of the great Pete Townshend classic from The Who's "other" rock opera masterpiece "Quadrophenia" so blew Townshend away that he remarked on his website the next day that it was his "favorite moment" of the event

Fanfare For The Common Man

Did anyone else see the presidential concert they showed on HBO? Well, they are replaying it over on hbo.com if you want to go check it out.

Anyway. My absolute favorite part was the Aaron Copeland "Fanfare for the common man" played by the USMC Band at the beginning when everyone was introduced. HOLY GOOSEBUMPS BATMAN! I was reminded how much I love that piece.

So today I am celebrating. Due to complete system downage at work today, I got to see the whole inauguration ...which was pretty darn tootin awesome.

Ok Barack, go get em.





Neato Sidetrack >> The music is also adapted for my favorite baseball movie The Natural

Jukebox Friday - Apology for the last 8 years,,,

Jem, They

Drunky Housewarming Jukebox Friday Blogging Because I CAan AND SO WHAT.

Yes yes, thank you all for frowning at the sfoofiemas decorations. They will be taken down when I have some sort of epiphany.



Our house is a very very very fine house and I'm happy. We had a grown up party and I make lovely things and punch was served. People talked about being naked in their houses and Wii Marikart was played. I didn't realize I was on the top of the screen when my turn came around. I went from 12th place to 1st place. I received a billiown awesome bottles of wine.

Then End. ?

Jukebox Friday -Pick for the 2008 song

You may say overrated or "meh", but this song really stuck with me the whole year. What a crazy year! I hope to recappy its glories and all that jazz this weekend.

Welcome, 2009!

Makes for some tense drives in WI winters....

more music charts

Agreed?

Silent Night

Happy Christmas Eve! A baby was born who would later die for my sins and save my sinful life. May all find hope in hopeless times and a light in any dark nights.

Silent Night in Gaelic, Enya