Friday, January 25, 2008

The trendz. I notize.

1) We dine out frequently
2) I watch Food network ALL the time
3) I watch Top Chef on Bravo (and every Top Chef off-season specials. w00t!)

Given the above three, I've started noticing certain food trends. I'm amused so I will share here.


Seriously this pasta must have people who know people who pay people to off people and BOOM cavatappi all up in this joint. There is nothing wrong with this pasta (take note above mentioned "people"). In fact, tonight I did enjoy a delicious bowl of seafood alfredo on cavatappi (here) It's just amazing how it is EVERYWHERE so suddenly. Where the crap was this pasta before? Did people suddenly take delight in learning Cavatappi means "corkscrews" in Italian? *shakes head in bewilderment* For now, you do not search for Cavatappi, Cavatappi will find you. It's got people.

WHITE TRUFFLE. (I should have posted what they really look like!) This shit is the crack fairy dust of happiness to every meal apparently (and your hair??!?!?) White truffle oil, shavings, sprinkles, etc make an appearance in almost every competition and snootyish food establishment. You wouldn't think it would impress after awhile. How good can white truffle taste paired with something like a water chestnut. Chefs just gotta draw the line somewhere.... (hmmm... wondering what white truffle PB & J sandwiches would taste like? ) My only question is, "why's it always gotta be 'bout color"?

I feel like cilantro is the trend-herb of the moment. mmmmmm... I really enjoy cilantro. Some people think it tastes like tin, but they clearly are 2 margaritas shy of where I'm at. Cilantro can make the worst hole in the city all fresh-faced and glorious with one sprig.


*** Seriously sidetrack with me for a moment (wait, you don't have a choice. HAHA). There is a hole of an establishment just up the street from my work. This place is awful. I don't think they could even steal the cilantro from the rats to serve it. The food is on paper plates, the nasiest salsa is from greasy squeeze bottles, sour cream is served in packets ((WTF!)), the meat has small children in it, and the chips are clearly stolen from some homeless shanty world. One meal. 2 bites. No thank you. Finally, there are the stuffed bunnies / stuffed bunny heads nail gunned to the wall. Frightening. They must have been dragged from the sewers of Tijuana.

The ONLY saving grace is, of course, the margaritas. Served in pitchers. *get excited with me* NO ICE. no ice! hellz yeah. Ice must be too 'spensive but the tequila FREEEEEEEE FLOWING. wheeeee.

ANYWAY, without fail, if I mention to someone the street where I work, they'll start getting all excited and go ON AND ON about this awful place. People from all over this forsaken country. without fail. *shakes head*

I'll paste a review here: "I love the chopped steak tacos, tostadas, margaritas, refried beans, rice, etc.... Sure the atmosphere may not be the greatest, but you can't eat atmosphere can you? Who cares if you eat off of paper plates? That is part of the charm of this establishment. I have been there several times and have never had a bad meal yet. You definitely need to try this place out for yourself, rather than rely on the negative reviews of others."

What did he experience?! I wanna know. I wanna know what all these ravers ate to get them all into girlish tizzies.

Ugh. Please rely on my negative review. Stick to the pitchers of margaritas. Ignore the creepy bunnies nailed to the wall if they start talking you. Mumble something about no ice. They'll go away.

end sidetrack

Finally, only because:
1) It's funny
2) I have more trends, but now I'm kinda tired out from my sidetrack blog

I give you ....

Blue corn would like to give a shout out to The Flay for extending the contract, the illicit love affair, the long and legendary career it now has, smoking in the boys room, and the pet llama. Bobby "I really do suck at the throwdowns" Flay would like to thank blue corn for, well, providing the world with a sprinkle of amusement. Bobby Flay tries to make blue corn a foodie trend, but fails. Try the homeless shanty technique Flay, it might make the world more excited about you...

Yeah, I'm tired. Stay tuned for more foodie trend goodness. I hope I don't get sidetracked


Iwanski said...

"the meat has small children in it"

so funny I started coughing

Beth said...

We should clearly talk food more often. Cooking and food analysis is often the highlight of my day (for example, turkey sweet potato shepherds pie sounds better than it is, thanks Rachel Ray).

On your specific ponderings/amusements:
1. Cavatappi has always been popular in Italy, we Americains are a wee bit slow. I'm waiting for strozzapretti to hit stateside.
2. Truffles (black and white) have been always been shi shi - because they're DAMN expensive. I've never tried them, but would like to someday.
3. Cilantro - I agree. And yum.

Oh - and the whole Bobby Flay things is HILARIOUS. I cracked up at the whole Bobby "I really do suck at the throwdowns" Flay.