surprisingly, i hate starting new blogs with drear. i could talk for days on my blessings. i just can't help this is how this blog birthday has started.
i cry when i think about calling the ones i love the most.... i know it will be endless outpouring of how much of every day i end up hating. i'm sure they are plenty sick of it. i cry because this should be such a great time. i cry because i hate how they've made me hate my once-loved job. the job. the job. the craptastical heap of a job. from the first call i feel this innate anger. anger that i want to provide the very best for that agent, their client, the company and all i get is stressed. i feel my brain crunching and crazed. i hate it. i forget all the mantras i've fashioned in my brain during the commute. i snap instantly to a dark place instead of being the good person i always want to be.
i'm really really confused with direction right now ... this really fraks and confuzzes up large issues
i want to stay and make it better, but that possibility seems capital CRAZY.
the tiniest bit of me takes my weary weepy eyes to read a page of the oldest-fashioned comfort i can find.... thank you to whomever wrote those words of comfort long long long ago. Lord, help me through tomorrow.